Many of you have asked me how I balance work and family... and I would add work-family-love! Obviously, everyone finds their own way. I am describing a week in my life, knowing full well that I have a specific schedule, that I am working on several projects at the same time, and that I couldn't do everything without help.
How do I do it? The most urgent first! My diary is full of writing and I don't reread it, I do what comes to mind, always trying to appreciate my days, my moments... I've changed a lot! From orderly to mom who juggles career and projects, laughing when too much gets busy. The housework waits. But everything ends up getting done as they say. And it's always day by day. I don't fit into a schedule. Everything is decided as I go along with some appointments and filming days blocked in advance. For these, I call my resources if I can't be accompanied by my child(ren)!
The only reason for this article is to demonstrate that I am trying to organize myself while being very busy, like you! Let's look at our personal goals (mine is to spend, despite a busy schedule, as much time as possible with my loved ones) and the possibilities of adopting, or even creating, new ways of doing things (which are not promoted by the government for example). Pregnant with my first child, I was already looking for a daycare because rumor had it that way. It was only once I was rocking him that I realized I couldn't leave him. So I followed my instinct, even though I was a single parent and without a job, without a pension, without any resources really. I made it work.
I know this topic is fraught with controversy. I also know that some families have no choice, and that for some children, a childcare center is better than home. It's a debate with many facets to consider. But let's look at the possibilities.
I see too many parents who go with the flow without taking a step back and asking themselves "how can we do things differently?"
I'm one of the only moms who does Pilates with her baby. It's a workout! But I prefer to go with him than to pass up. And having him babysit for my exercise isn't an option for me. I have an open-minded teacher, and a mom to boot. Together, we're creative: my son will build a house while I think about contracting my abs and breathing deeply. He'll sometimes fly over me or borrow my elastic! What's the point of resisting! I'll of course be more than exhausted at the end of a session! It must be said that my second son is more active than the first, who peacefully followed me everywhere, from my production meetings to various filming sessions: he slept on me most of the time, leaving me to go about my business as an actress and businesswoman. His brother, on the other hand, never wanted to stay in the same hammock! And unlike with the first, some dates with him have gone wrong! For example, when I met the director of urban planning at La Prairie for my Garden of Eden project, I couldn't get a word in edgewise because he was making such loud noises... and without respite!
I often make people smile with my children on me. And sometimes not! Sometimes people look at me as if we were in the way. As if our society immediately forbade children from having access to everything. We have to stop taking ourselves so seriously! Is it serious that my baby prevented me from explaining my garden plan to the city of La Prairie? No! No one will suffer! I pulled myself together and I left a rather funny and memorable memory! I understand the limits too: you can't plead while breastfeeding! But you can have your makeup done while doing it! So, I was able to accept a number of television shows and my baby came with me, stayed in the dressing room with a babysitter while I appeared and then we met up! My dentist appointments were done with him on me too! More delicate, I agree! All this to say that it is good to value creativity and shared resources.
I'm not making anything up when I say that together, we can find solutions. If we talk to each other, moms and dads, and we realize that several of us want our little ones closer or even in the workplace, why not invent what is desired? We don't always have to play with them; when they feel we are close, there is peace. Why not share the costs of an on-site babysitter? Some employers are more flexible than others, but it's up to us to create our resources and make our requests. Weight also makes a difference. We will increasingly see companies offering their employees a place for their children. Long live balance if we want to last in good health.
The old-fashioned way or like other countries, let's get back to the clan! AND let our children be present! It's natural after all! In the animal kingdom, parents are jealous of the proximity, support, and protection of their young. It's up to us to see to it! There are only possibilities. I hear too many women crying at the idea of going back to work... and too many promotions regarding access to daycare as a solution. And why not pay at home? The flexibility of employers, the strength of families uniting to create peaceful avenues... All this is possible. It's up to us to create it. Who said that the path to daycare was a necessity? The source of income yes! But in an era of change and possibilities, what do you dream of? What is your ideal? CREATE IT!!!
My boyfriend was telling me about a business couple who transformed their conference room into a playroom for their new child. The same goes for a dentist friend. What's your solution?
When I had my first son, I was a single parent and my parents lived in Chile. I chose to stay home with him and do what I could with what I had! Not being the type to sit around and do nothing, he accompanied me to my meetings and conferences. I had a babysitter (found through ads) to accompany me on occasional filming. If I was offered a long-term one, I refused. Since he followed me everywhere, happy things happened. For example, we met the Dalai Lama. He even came to us three times to bless him, being the only one (among hundreds of parents) with my baby. A larger-than-life spiritual being is invited and no child follows? The Tibetan monks at my table thought the hammock bag that kept him on me was beautiful and questioned me about our strollers, which, in their eyes, push children into danger. I sometimes stood near the door so as not to disturb, but since I was always against him, my child did not tend to cry.
One day I met my lover. My situation changed.
My parents also returned from abroad. And their support allowed me, little by little, to take a more serious step into my career. The contract phone stopped ringing, but I took the lead!
I gave birth to our second son after accepting a role in a play. A tour of 80 performances over more than a year. Mom or Dad would come with me to stay with the baby backstage. A few months later, Denis Pary (aka Ti-Coune!), who was performing with me but not at the same time, took over. What a wonderful start to life. Okay, sometimes I heard the baby while I was on stage and had to concentrate more! But I think back to traveling with Marc-André Coallier in the mornings, with the gang on the buses in Ottawa, Rimouski, La Malbaie, pure happiness. The laughter that Yves Corbeil provoked in my son was worth it all. I felt very lucky. Especially since Béatrice Picard confided in me that in her time, we had to choose between acting or staying at home. She had to find childcare. Times are changing... slowly but surely.
And today? For those interested who asked, here's what a week looks like. You'll see that work/family balance now rhymes with mom and stepmom! I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The time you spend with our boys allows us all to flourish and be happy.
Monday: I'm getting ready for an audition! I love auditioning. It's a chance and as Robert De Niro once said, we have nothing to lose! I'm leaving my two boys with my mom (no school for the oldest because we're leaving for Quebec City afterward). I use my nervousness in the audition, I listen, I act, I leave, I'm uncertain and the waiting will follow.
I drive to Quebec City, leave Mom and boys at the hotel, and rush to the fashion show for the Children's Dream Foundation. Touching. Quickly, I'm made up, interviewed, prepared, ... I'm asked if it's possible for me to do a photo shoot the next morning for the Quebec City newspaper. Everything is arranged in a few minutes. I know I can count on Mom. After the show, I meet the designer of the freshly worn dresses, Marie-Josée Bergeron. Love at first sight. She can dress me for the morning photos.
It wasn't until I got back to my room, around 10 p.m., that I enjoyed the hotel's delicious salmon. What a pleasure to eat in bed, chatting with my lover back home.
Tuesday am, a relaxed lunch at the restaurant with the boys, mom takes the opportunity to rest (it's not easy with the kids, we agree! I always said that when I work, it's vacation! When we stay at home with the kids, we're tired in the evening... but they go to bed and we watch them sleep!!!). They end up at the pool with her, I watch them for a moment, smiling, before going to the hairdresser from the day before. Even though I slept with my hair done, it's due for a touch-up! Then a photo session at Baizenville (my friend Kim Rusk's brother's boutique). I quickly meet the designers from Signatures Québécoises and return to the hotel to spend some time with my children! We return home quietly and I stroll the rest of the day alongside those I love.
Wednesday: I drive the oldest to school and leave the youngest at my mom's. I ask her to help me once or twice a week, but sometimes it's crazy! I try to stay calm, enjoy the different moments, breathe! I have to go to a costume fitting for the character I'll soon be playing on TV (an audition I got a little earlier). Then I go to Ariane Lingerie, again for my character. I discovered this wonderful family business back in the Diva days. I'm embarrassed by the choice.
I pick up my son from my mom. The oldest could come with me during such fittings. It depends on temperaments, age, and availability around me! We pick up his brother from school (since it's an alternative school chosen by the parents, we don't get school transportation) and do the grocery shopping together (I like Loblaws for basic ingredients and flowers!). I stay relaxed (as I wrote earlier, I try to appreciate every part of the day!!!). Back home, a surprise visit from my boyfriend's brother. The pleasant "doing nothing" is in order (although a few loads here and there and an impromptu meal). At bedtime, a beloved moment, the children go upstairs with me. Before, the youngest only wanted me. Times change, my boyfriend can now take my place... much to my dismay! Since they were born, I've been with them falling asleep, right up to sleep. Then I watch them. Then comes the family/love balance, which I can't do without either! To help me, at the end of the day and with fatigue, I invest in my relationship by buying a beautiful lingerie wardrobe! It's my way!
When I go to bed (I like to sleep, to let myself be carried away; to think that I once suffered from insomnia! It was enough to scare me…), I find my children again and thank my lover for allowing me to do so much and for finding me beautiful as a mother.
Thursday: Noëlla comes to help me one or two mornings a week. A golden babysitter, referred by her daughter who is a mother at the school I founded. That's a beautiful story. After two years, Noëlla is part of the family and we count ourselves very lucky. When she is away for too long (camping and various other activities, her schedule is very full!), the boy misses her. When she comes, like this morning, I write and edit the magazine, follow up on emails, etc. (You should know that my boyfriend and I try not to use the phone when we are together and with the children.) Here and there, I also think about the garden of the Éden foundation. I draw in my head what it could become and envision the paths to get there. I also finish the text on permaculture precisely in view of a radio show with Isabelle Maréchal to which I am suddenly invited. I give a pre-interview and appreciate this beautiful gift in the company of Albert Mondor, much-loved horticulturist.
After dinner, I go grocery shopping for organic vegetables, this time at Avril's, with my son. Soon, I won't have to go there anymore because I've been a member of an organic farm near my home for years. Everything organic and fresh daily, strawberries that taste like strawberries, local vegetables bursting with vitamins and minerals.
In the evening, Cavalia, our first outing as a foursome. I've skipped several outings in recent years to be with the youngest, as was the case with the oldest. My boyfriend and I are the kind of people who prefer to stay with family, traveling with them too. Don't worry about our relationship, though; we always find time for ourselves here and there. We love each other more and more. AND we understand each other, harmoniously! But now the youngest can accompany us on a family outing. And he'll love his show, from the end of his bench he'll exclaim "how beautiful it is."
Friday, a quiet morning because I don't have to leave until around 9:30 for the 98.5 radio studio. This time I'll be counting on my mother-in-law to play with her grandson! The radio hour went by too quickly. The meeting with Albert was very meaningful. As for Isabelle, I really like her. We meet occasionally for such charming moments. I actually promised myself to do an interview with her about her Anti+ juice company, which she launched without talking about it too much! Little juices loved by children and adults alike, but with real content! From the earth to the table... to be continued soon!
I often take Fridays off. I sometimes write to you in the evening, while Dad puts the kids to bed, or on weekends while he's playing with them. But you'll agree with me that if I want to continue preaching the example of la dolce vita, I have to live it up! While still managing my life as a career woman and a housewife. My challenge soon will therefore be to turn off my computer for longer moments with my loved ones. Without sparing you, however: I love writing to you and editing this magazine for you too much! For now, I'm also wearing all the hats of our magazine!
I'll end the week by really hoping for my birthday, which will arrive a few days later, to have time to clean out my closets. Thanks to the help of my three men, I'll do a little on Saturday, then on Sunday. I'll buy some perennials too (it's not an expense) and I'll do a treasure hunt with our eldest in the Carignan area (I'll check when Saturday arrives where the garage sales are held). On Monday, my family will celebrate me, I'll be very touched. Mom is giving me what I wanted, a nice deep cleaning of my newly uncluttered house. I've put everything aside for Julie and her garage sale. And on the big day (hihi!) nothing else on the agenda but to be with my family and to run the marathon organized by our son.
The next day, a treat: I take a trip to the Rinascimento warehouse, a magnificent Italian line. I've been flirting with them since the animation of Par ici La Sortie. I had the opportunity to wear them and fell in love with comfortable, sexy, and stylish pieces. I meet the "owner" and we shake hands: they were looking to dress a personality that could go from bohemian to chic, from casual to sexy. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you!
(I notice that this week is taking place under the star of fashion. It happens like that but it is far from being part of my daily and rustic life! I have the happy opportunity to wear designers for public outings and filming but I rarely go "shopping", I just don't have a need. I still like it! I am a woman like any other. And obviously looking good is also part of my job. And for my characters, the clothes will decide a lot: how to walk, stand and act.) I leave with magnificent pieces on loan for two next shopping trips: photo, TV and upcoming events.
Then follows a lunch with Taminik. It's been a while. His mere presence deeply soothes me. I'll be doing a retreat with him soon and will be able to tell you more.
This is what the days of my life as a woman, mother, blonde, actress, passionate about ideas to realize look like...
Every week is a new painting. Nothing is the same.
Summer is back and with it, coffee outside: I start my days on vacation... I also run/dance, alone or with the children, at nightfall, when the forest fills with the smells of childhood memories.
Moving makes you want to eat well, like salads and green juices. It's amazing how one leads to the other.
Also in my daily life are hot lunches for school. I often make them with leftovers from the day before (lasagna, pesto pasta, bison, croquettes, mashed potatoes, kiwi, carrots, etc.), always in reusable containers and while I do my morning oil cleanse on an empty stomach. I love driving my son to school, with music and coffee with us.
I feed the farm animals (chickens, geese, ducks, rabbits) when I can... and my boyfriend tells me if I'm smiling or not! I have to be, otherwise, it doesn't make sense! We lost our horse from old age, our donkey, sad about this loss, found a boarding house in a small farmhouse while we found a nice Percheron.
I also do the laundry when I can.
I enjoy a few infrared sauna sessions (a gift from my lover) a week, often when Noella is around.
One hour a week, I help out in the classroom at my son's school, like other parents. The youngest always accompanies me. The students take care of him. Starting school will come naturally to him.
I'm often seen with them, in their arms or next to me. Which doesn't stop me, quite the contrary, from finding a lover and being seductive for him in our spare time, from founding a school, a huge edible oasis, from writing a book, from making a series of dance DVDs, from creating a web magazine, from resuming my career. And if I'm alone at work (or should I write about my passion), it's because they're with Dad, Grandma, or Grandma. Thanks again.
Leave a comment