WE BECOME WHO WE ARE - a gap year doesn't change the world, except that...
I've been wanting to stop for four years now. When I turned 40, I said to myself: I've been going at 200 miles an hour for 20 years, fully investing myself in my job, and getting involved with those around me. Is this life? Running, all the time. Being stimulated, all the time. Not wanting to miss anything, all the time.
Then came the weekend countryside: a balm, a natural therapy. It recharged my batteries for 3 years.
Then the hamster started to work even more: "I've dedicated half my working life to one industry and one way of life. I feel many other callings. I'm curious, interested in so many other facets of life that I can't discover. Suddenly I'm missing out on something, I'm missing out on a passion, a mission."
Fear grips me! I'm frustrated with the pace I'm imposing on myself... Enough is enough! I'm making the big decision on a whim (thoughtfully...) to stop working for a year. I'm taking a leap of faith. I have lots of questions and I'm giving myself the mandate to answer them during this year.
DONE. I'm coming to the end of this dream year. What did I do? For the most part, I drove at 200 miles an hour to answer my questions, discover other facets of life that fascinated me so much, and I stimulated myself! I'd even say I ran quite a bit...
My biggest failure: not slowing down. I rarely managed to do that. A big fat zero. I didn't want to waste a minute of my sabbatical...all the time. The privilege was too great. I had a responsibility to make that time...FREE.
I had goals, a plan. In this regard, I give myself an 8/10. It's always been my strength. I'm a girl of projects and dreams. I make sure I achieve them.
So the accomplishments of the past year that I'm most proud of are naturally a continuation of who I am (and not the 52 books I wanted to read), to my great surprise: I was a romantic and a lover, I became a very big lover and a very big romantic. I was grateful for life. I became filled with gratitude all day long. I like to laze in bed in the morning, I slept in more in one year than I did in 20 years. I'm a dog girl, and well, I was the most present pack leader for my four-legged friends. I worked to travel... I traveled the planet.
Has the last year transformed me? No. Have I answered all my questions? No.
Give me a little more time. I have my whole life for this!
I've been reading a lot, here are the books I really enjoyed:
- The Gospel according to Pilate (Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt)?
- My Life - Jane Fonda?
- A Whole New Mind - why right-brainers will rule the Future (Daniel H. Pink)
