Because I rewatch this wonderful film and I want to mark it forever.
Because I am so happy and filled with gratitude.
Because I want to share this magnificent story.
Here is...
While a first doctor had told me that I was not made to carry and give birth, I had the joy of discovering I was pregnant and jealously protecting this joy, then of discovering I was a mother, immensely protective, guided by baby-friendly Doctors who encouraged me to sleep with them, to respond to needs on demand, to pamper and watch over them. This is how I became a mother and without listening to the unfounded concerns of all those who questioned my way. I was strong, I listened to my instinct which has never let me down since. Sometimes I was able to doubt the myths that are allowed to circulate, reinforcing the assurance that there is nothing stronger than building a life on love, comfort, trust. The birth of my first baby had already taken place in calm, gentleness, subdued light (I had come across the book "For a birth without violence" which had guided the hushed and unconditionally tender conditions to the point where Louis was born without crying, looking at me, placing his little hand on my face) and in time... a lot of time and patience surrounded me...
When pregnant for a second time (big brother asked for a little brother and we were ready when Louis was 5, not before, I wanted so much to enjoy him! I was incapable of it...), I discovered yoga which became my special moment of connection with baby, as well as self-hypnosis. My preparation delighted me, I found the power of this method astonishing and when the big day came, a wonderful September day, we announced it to big brother and left for the hospital, the same establishment, friend of babies, dads, moms. I suggested to my lover to go for a walk, the day was so beautiful and I was perfectly fine with my recording which kept me away from the pain... until the last 20 minutes! So I asked for a doctor and Charles arrived to open his eyes to his dad, the time for me to recover and to be able to comfort him, to feed him...
Last Christmas, life was so beautiful and we loved our children so much (watching them, swooning, sleeping at night) that we said to ourselves, why not? We talked about it with Charles and Louis and all four of us made a wish on New Year's Day (while serious surrounding our ritual of what we wish, and more, for the next year) to expand the family.
I felt it right away at 3 weeks. All smiles, I rushed to my lover: I'm pregnant! We waited for a trip to announce it to the boys, who immediately became protective and caring. And you, you followed me, I didn't stop, I continued my passion to exchange with you via "my" jmagazine that I cherish, via my show, my conferences... until the very end, I carried & followed my passion (I can't say work, it's too good). I felt a vigorous baby, but just as wonderful to follow me like this. I was also comforted by Mrs. Starenkyj's words that age does not have the importance of health: we are the age of it. I took care. I watched over my condition, listening to it, keeping in mind what my friend who practices Ayurveda had mentioned in the summer, how, according to this ancient medicine, carrying a child was immensely respected and honored. In my heart, this luck was just as much.
How was I going to give birth? Like Louis, Charles? I chose to trust life. To let it guide me. To listen to myself, to follow what it told me and to abandon myself to this great adventure. So, we didn't know how we were going to do with the boys and until the last moment, we didn't even question it. Charles, never babysat, wanted to stay with us. At the hospital, a friend of babies, dads, moms and children, I had considered the possibility of going there as a family! Although my lover and I knew that I wanted to give birth without him, to see him directly once it was done! Our choice, my well-being!
We learned after a regular checkup that labor was approaching. I knew in the morning that labor had begun. We each packed our suitcases and went to a restaurant, but first, for our last meal together, just before. The boys were absolutely fabulous, the evening was perfect, we couldn't believe it, we were deeply touched.
They accompany me to my room, a moment of emotion. We stay in touch via iPhone and I will remain touched by our words, our videos.
Life has been most generous: it ensures that this evening of the new moon is on duty the nurse who moved me the most during the birth of Louis and Charles. One who sang to them, who walked them to give me rest, one who held them in warm sheets... Hélène. Thank you. I was right to give in: "we're going to do this together" she says to me as I tell her that I prefer to be among women, that I am reassured because my lover is watching over the guys, that they will be by my side when my little brother is born.
"Sleep while you wait," Hélène told me. And with a tender smile on my lips, watching the films sent to me by the youngest, I dove into rest as much as possible. The first pains woke me up, I saw if I could sleep through them after an exchange with my lover, and it wasn't until 2:30 a.m. that the alarm kept me awake. So, I walked, lay down, looked at photos of my children, and danced a little in the night. I rang Hélène, but several deliveries had taken place, and it wasn't until 4:45 a.m. that she was able to join me, while I wrote to my boyfriend, "That's it, I'm in pain!"
Hanging on Hélène, as if we had prepared ourselves this way, I went through it, confidently and in the best possible company. She went from the floor to my back, supporting me in my walk, trying acupressure points, whispering to me that I was admirable and strong... and calling the doctor, the head was there, it only took a few pushes. Baby was on me. We all stayed in the half-light, the calm and hushed, the maternal gentleness, the immense and benevolent understanding. Happy to be serene, that baby seemed so well, calm too, we, he and I, stayed in this softness and I told him how much I loved him. This time, I was entitled to the warm blanket with baby snugly installed on me, the beautiful idea of Hélène who took care of it. Quietly, I called my men and heard "bravo mom" and I couldn't wait to share this darling birth with them.
Discovering Charles as a big brother overwhelmed us with happiness and surprise. He didn't want to take his eyes off him or miss a "precious" moment with him. Louis, for his part, redoubled his kindness towards Charles and my man could not be more manly and kind to us, taking care of absolutely everything. Since then, I can completely be with him, slow down to this point of suspended time & enjoy this greatest happiness, that of being a parent, of watching over, of loving.
Physically, I felt quickly restored, probably due to the natural and rapid delivery (largely because I had an upright, old-fashioned way). Thank you for your many good wishes to that effect.
As for the welcome of our angel (we haven't found his name yet), nothing could be more perfect. And he, so gentle and vigorous at the same time, letting it be known by his little noises that he is wonderfully well.
Tribute to life and to Hélène, thank you: "Jacynthe, I know you will leave the hospital soon. It was an honor to accompany you. Let me tell you how it went before I leave you: your baby is so vigorous, when he came out..."
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