At the end of summer, many parents—and especially mothers—experience a profound emotional upheaval: their children are leaving home to pursue college, live in another city, or simply fly off to their own devices. This often subtle but meaningful life transition can trigger a real empty nest syndrome. Loneliness, loss of bearings, sadness, or a sense of emotional emptiness: this transition marks a turning point in parental identity.
Fortunately, natural and gentle solutions exist to help you through this period of emotional upheaval. Aromatherapy, among them, proves to be a valuable ally. Thanks to the benefits of essential oils, it's possible to soothe emotions, bring warmth back to the heart, and recreate a soothing inner cocoon.
In this article, I explain what empty nest syndrome is, its emotional signs, and, most importantly, how to use essential oils to better navigate this stage. Whether you're a novice or an aromatherapy enthusiast, you'll discover simple rituals to gently transform melancholy and restore meaning to your daily life.
Empty Nest Syndrome: An Often Underestimated Emotional Stage
What is this ?
Empty nest syndrome refers to an emotional state some parents experience when their children leave home, often for the first time, to pursue their studies, work in another city, or begin their adult lives.
This transition, while natural, can generate profound inner upheaval. After years of caring for the daily needs of their child(ren), many parents—especially mothers—experience a sudden emptiness, both physical and emotional. The home, once full of laughter, interaction, and movement, suddenly falls silent. This seemingly peaceful calm can actually awaken a form of heavy loneliness, melancholy, and even a questioning of identity.
Why does empty nest syndrome often occur at the end of summer?
The end of summer marks a turning point for many families: it's the time of university returns, student moves, changes of pace... It's often at this precise moment that the departure of children takes shape, transforming the usual family dynamic.
As nature also begins a change of seasons, parents must learn to live in a new daily life, often calmer, slower, but also sometimes tinged with a feeling of abandonment. This pivotal moment can be experienced as a symbolic mourning: that of family life as it was known until now.
Who is affected by empty nest syndrome?
Contrary to popular belief, empty nest syndrome doesn't just affect stay-at-home moms. It affects working mothers as much as it affects fathers, whether they're in a relationship or separated. Its intensity varies depending on emotional ties, daily routines, family structure, and the degree of anticipation of this change.
Some people experience it as a liberation or relief, while others feel a deep existential emptiness, mixed with contradictory emotions: pride at seeing their child grow up, but sadness at seeing their parental role evolve.
This often overlooked stage of family transition deserves to be recognized and supported. Aromatherapy, as a natural emotional support tool, can play a key role in helping parents embrace this new phase with gentleness and confidence.
Symptoms and Impacts of Empty Nest Syndrome on Well-Being
Emotional Signs of Empty Nest Syndrome
Empty nest syndrome is primarily manifested by a range of deep, often unexpected, emotions. Affected parents often experience:
- A feeling of loneliness or abandonment, especially in the first few days after the children leave home.
- A diffuse sadness, close to mourning, sometimes accompanied by tears or an overwhelming nostalgia.
- A loss of motivation or an inner emptiness, especially if parental investment was central to daily life.
- A lack of desire to make personal plans, due to a feeling of uselessness or disorientation.
This emotional imbalance can be amplified in single parents or those who have put their personal lives on hold to devote themselves entirely to their children.
Concrete effects on the body and daily life
Empty nest syndrome isn't just about emotions: it can have real physiological and behavioral effects. Some of the most common include:
- Chronic fatigue or feeling like you have no energy.
- Sleep disturbances, insomnia or early waking linked to latent anxiety.
- Changes in appetite: loss of desire to cook, more unbalanced diet or compulsive snacking.
- Lower self-esteem and identity questioning: “Who am I now that my children are gone?”
In some people, this period can also trigger psychosomatic symptoms: muscle pain, stomach aches, lump in the throat, palpitations, etc.
A step often underestimated... but legitimate
Many parents struggle to acknowledge their feelings. Society values children's independence, but rarely addresses the silent pain parents feel when they see their children leave. What should be a source of pride is often accompanied by a grief we dare not express.
And yet, experiencing empty nest syndrome is perfectly legitimate. It's a process of adaptation: a necessary moment of uncertainty to mourn the end of a phase of life and open a new, more self-centered chapter.
Aromatherapy, as a natural support for the nervous and emotional system, can help you get through this period with greater serenity, by reconnecting the body and the heart, soothing inner tensions and supporting self-reinvention.
The benefits of aromatherapy to help you get through this period
A natural solution to soothe the emotions associated with empty nest syndrome
When words are no longer enough, scents sometimes take over. Aromatherapy, thanks to the properties of essential oils, offers natural emotional support particularly suited to periods of transition such as empty nest syndrome. Breathing in a well-chosen synergy can bring comfort, reduce stress, soothe anxiety, encourage letting go, or simply restore a sense of inner security.
How do essential oils affect our emotional well-being?
The aromatic molecules contained in essential oils act directly on the limbic system, the area of the brain involved in managing emotions and emotional memory. A simple inhalation can trigger a state of calm, immediate relaxation, or a feeling of well-being.
Certain biochemical families are particularly suitable in the context of empty nest syndrome:
- Esters (found in Roman chamomile or bitter orange petitgrain) to calm and release tension.
- Monoterpenols (as in rose or palmarosa) to support morale and strengthen self-esteem.
- Sesquiterpenes (found in sandalwood) for grounding and emotional stability.
Why choose aromatherapy during this transition phase?
Because it acts on the body, mind and heart, aromatherapy allows for a holistic approach to empty nest syndrome.
It offers:
- A sensory anchor, so as not to be carried away by invasive thoughts.
- A reassuring ritual, which structures the days that have become quieter.
- A reconnection to oneself, through touch, breath and smell.
In addition to its effectiveness, aromatherapy is easy to integrate into your daily life: a few drops in a diffuser, a roll-on to take with you, a heart massage or a comforting bath can make all the difference.
5 Essential Oils to Comfort the Heart and Redefine Your Inner Nest
Damask Rose: Oil for the Wounded Heart
Damask rose essential oil is one of the most powerful for soothing grief, nostalgia, and emotional wounds. It opens the heart, supports emotional emptiness, and promotes unconditional love.
Rich in monoterpenols (notably citronellol and geraniol), this precious oil acts as a gentle nerve tonic while providing a strong emotional balancing action.
Practical advice :
- Place 1 drop on a tissue or in a small amount of vegetable oil, then breathe deeply 3 times while placing your hand on your heart. Ideal practice in the morning or during a moment of emotional turmoil.
Precautions :
- Pregnant and breastfeeding women prohibited
- Prohibited for children under 3 years old
- Dilute with vegetable oil
Petitgrain bigarade: the oil of inner calm
Ideal for calming stress, anxiety, and mental agitation, Petitgrain Bigarade essential oil helps restore a sense of inner security. It is particularly useful when the silence of the home becomes oppressive.
Very rich in esters (linalyl acetate), it exerts a calming action on the parasympathetic nervous system and promotes overall relaxation.
Practical advice :
- Add 2 drops to a diffuser, combined with mandarin or true lavender, to create a cocooning atmosphere at the end of the day.
Precautions :
- Not recommended for pregnant women less than 3 months pregnant
- Prohibited for infants under 3 months
Roman Chamomile: The Oil of Suppressed Tears
Gentle and maternal, Roman chamomile is perfect for supporting buried emotions, unexpressed sorrows, and nervous tension. It promotes peaceful and reassuring sleep.
It contains a high proportion of esters (isobutyl angelate), known for their spasmolytic and calming action on the emotional and digestive levels.
Practical advice :
- Dilute 1 drop in 4 drops of vegetable oil and gently massage the solar plexus before sleeping, breathing deeply.
Precautions :
- Not suitable for pregnant women under 3 months or infants under 3 months
Red Mandarin: the oil for a renewed smile
Light and cheerful, mandarin essential oil is perfect for bringing light into a home that has become too quiet. It helps release tension and restore a sense of inner joy.
Rich in monoterpenes (limonene), it has a gentle relaxing and euphoric effect. It also acts on the digestive system, which is often affected by emotions.
Practical advice :
- Diffuse 3 drops in a bedroom or living room for 20 minutes in the late afternoon to lighten the emotional atmosphere.
Precautions :
- Not suitable for pregnant women under 3 months, or infants under 3 months
- Dilute with vegetable oil before applying to the skin
- Do not apply to skin before sun exposure, as it is photosensitizing
Sandalwood: the oil of anchoring and reconnecting with oneself
Deeply grounding, sandalwood essential oil helps you refocus and regain meaning during a time of transition. It promotes meditation, inner calm, and self-esteem.
Composed mainly of sesquiterpenols (santalol), it has a regulatory action on the autonomic nervous system and supports deep serenity.
Practical advice :
- Apply 1 drop diluted in a vegetable oil to the inside of the wrists, then breathe slowly during a centering or meditation session.
Precautions :
- Prohibited for pregnant women and breastfeeding
- Prohibited for children under 3 years old
- Dilute before applying to the skin
- Not recommended for people with a pathology estrogen-dependent
Rituals to tame this new stage of life
Evening broadcast “Cocooning atmosphere”
Objective :
- Calm the mind, alleviate loneliness, bring warm energy into the home.
Ingredients :
- 3 drops of mandarin essential oil
- 2 drops of petitgrain bigarade essential oil
- 1 drop of Damask rose essential oil
Directions for use :
- Diffuse this blend for 20 minutes in the main room, ideally in the late afternoon or early evening, when the silence becomes oppressive.
This synergy of essential oils in diffusion envelops you in a comforting atmosphere, ideal for parents who are experiencing a period of emotional emptiness after the departure of their children.
Precautions :
- Do not diffuse in the presence of young children or sensitive animals.
- Ventilate the room after diffusion.
- Respect the recommended broadcast times.
“Calm Heart Mom” Roll-on
Objective :
- Relieve emotional peaks, strengthen grounding, find inner calm during the day.
Ingredients for a 5 ml roll-on :
- 1 drop of Roman chamomile essential oil
- 2 drops of petitgrain bigarade essential oil
- 1 drop of sandalwood essential oil
- Supplement with mild jojoba vegetable oil
How to use :
- Apply the roll-on to the solar plexus and wrists in the morning, or at any time of the day in case of a lump in the throat, sadness or a surge of emotion.
This emotional roll-on based on essential oils is a discreet and effective ally to accompany the changes in rhythm and benchmarks linked to the departure of children.
Precautions :
- Do not use in pregnant or breastfeeding women without medical advice.
- Test in the crease of the elbow before first use.
- Store away from heat and light.
Self-massage “Moment for yourself, with yourself”
Objective :
- Welcome your emotions with kindness, release tension and reconnect with your own presence.
Ingredients :
- 1 drop of Damask rose essential oil (or Roman chamomile)
- 1 teaspoon of jojoba vegetable oil
Instructions for use :
- Apply to the heart area, then massage in a gentle circular motion while breathing deeply. Close your eyes and allow any memories, emotions, or images to arise... without judgment.
This self-massage with essential oils is a powerful ritual of emotional reconnection, ideal for those who feel an inner emptiness after the children leave home.
Precautions :
- Always dilute essential oils for skin application.
- Do not practice in case of heart problems without medical advice.
Redefining your inner nest: an opportunity for personal rebirth
Empty nest syndrome can be experienced as a loss, but it can also become a tremendous opportunity for transformation. Once the initial emotional waves have been overcome, this transition period allows you to recreate meaning, revalue your place, and reinvent your daily life with gentleness and freedom.
Rather than seeking to fill the silence, why not make it a fertile space, conducive to the blossoming of a new self?
Rethinking home space for yourself
After the children leave, some rooms suddenly become quiet, empty, or unused.
This is the perfect time to:
- Redesign a space according to your desires: reading corner, meditation room, creative workshop, etc.
- Change the decor to breathe new energy into your home.
- Integrate sensory elements such as an essential oil diffuser, soft materials or subdued lighting.
Benefits :
- Redecorating and personalizing your space helps you rediscover the joy of everyday life, while creating an environment conducive to post-empty nest emotional well-being.
Reconnect with your desires, your projects, your freedom
During the parenting years, many personal dreams or passions are put aside.
This new step invites you to:
- Resume neglected activities (writing, dancing, gardening, sports, learning, etc.).
- Explore new passions or start a rewarding training course.
- Treat yourself to some guilt-free time, simply to treat yourself.
Benefits :
- This r Connecting with oneself is essential to regain emotional balance after the children have left and to nourish a new life energy.
Learning to appreciate silence and slowness
Silence, initially heavy, can become a valuable ally.
It allows you to:
- To refocus without distractions.
- To cultivate a form of full presence to what you really feel.
- To explore meditation, conscious breathing or sophrology, accompanied by the smell of essential oils.
Combine this practice with meditative essential oils like sandalwood, frankincense, or myrrh to anchor this moment of return to oneself.
Benefits :
- Adopting rituals of silence and slowness allows us to transform empty nest syndrome into a path of presence and inner serenity.
The nest is not empty… it is redeploying
What you're experiencing isn't an end, but a transition. Far from signifying the end of your role as a parent, empty nest syndrome marks the beginning of a new relationship with yourself—freer, more conscious, more aligned.
You can go back to being the person you were before you became a parent, or better yet, the person you became because of it, and beyond.
General precautions for the use of essential oils
To take full advantage of these synergies, follow these tips:
- Specific diffusion precautions : Do not diffuse for more than 30 minutes per session to avoid saturating the air. Use a diffuser appropriate for the size of your room.
- Dilution : Dilute essential oils before skin application to avoid irritation.
- Tolerance test : Before use, carry out a skin tolerance test by applying a small amount of essential oil diluted in vegetable oil to the inside of the elbow and wait 24 hours to check for an allergic reaction.
- Do not use in children, pregnant or breastfeeding women without medical advice : It is imperative to consult the essential oils sheet and consult a health professional before any use in these specific cases.
- Precautions for medical conditions : People suffering from chronic illnesses (asthma, epilepsy, hypertension, etc.) should consult their doctor before using essential oils, as some may have adverse effects or be contraindicated with their treatment. Your doctor is the only primary player in your health.
- Beware of photosensitizing oils : Some essential oils, such as citrus oils (lemon, bergamot, grapefruit), can cause skin burns or spots if exposed to the sun after application. Do not use them before direct sun exposure.
- Avoid mucous membranes and eyes : Essential oils can cause severe irritation. In case of accidental contact, rinse thoroughly with a carrier oil, not water. Consult your doctor.
To conclude...
Empty nest syndrome is a profound emotional transition, sometimes silent, but very real. When children leave home, it's natural to feel empty, sad, or lost. This stage marks a shift in identity, but also an opportunity for personal transformation.
During this delicate transition, aromatherapy proves to be a natural and accessible resource. Thanks to the subtle power of essential oils, it's possible to soothe emotions, regain grounding, and return to daily life with serenity. Whether it's diffusing a comforting synergy, applying an emotional roll-on, or giving yourself a heart massage, these simple, sensory gestures can change the way you experience this transition.
By choosing the right essential oils – such as Damask rose, bitter orange petitgrain, Roman chamomile, mandarin or sandalwood – you are giving yourself deep emotional support, gently and consciously.
Remember: your nest isn't empty; it's being reinvented. And through aromatherapy and your own wellness rituals, you have the keys to making it a space of calm, rebirth, and alignment.
References:
- Addey, A. (2021). The Big Book of Essential Oils: Medicine for the Soul and the Path to Awakening. The Lotus and the Elephant.
- Gérault, G., Sommenard, J.-C., Béhar, C., & Mary, R. (2011). The guide to olfactotherapy. Albin Michel.
- Faucon, M. (2023). Sensory approaches in aromatherapy. Dunod.
- Faniel, A. (2012). Olfactotherapy: Smell to feel better. Amarys.
Maison Jacynthe disclaims all liability. All information contained on this page is not intended to replace justified allopathic treatment, nor to disregard the expertise of the medical profession. It is up to each individual to take charge of their own health, to inform themselves, and to make the necessary changes to improve their condition. Therapeutic supervision by a qualified health professional is obviously recommended.
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