I write these words because I wish I had read them when I was with my first baby, when I didn't know and when nothing around me pointed in that direction.
I don't identify with those books that recommend letting our loved ones cry. When we want to help them become independent, I prefer comfort.
And I would have loved to see it, read it, listen to it. Knowing that you are not alone is so helpful.
My first baby weaned on his own, quietly, just before his second birthday. For my second, I had to help. I didn't know how. How if I wanted gentleness, love. So I trusted what it told me inside. During my sleepy nights while breastfeeding, I thought about how, then one evening, I tried. I first explained to my baby. Even though he's small, he understands by the sound of my voice, the kindness that embraces me. Then I replaced it. Like I do when I want to change. A story. Then gently, as this last one led to bedtime, I explained to baby that I could no longer breastfeed. AND I took him against me, nestling him very tightly inside me. Comforting him with my voice, with my love, my envelopment.
I hoped my last baby would wean like the first, but no. I also took advantage of it, reminding myself to enjoy it. I make the most of every moment of this time with them. For my memories and theirs. My definition of happiness.
Then, those of you who have breastfed will understand, there comes a time when continuing is difficult (but easier than stopping!).
So one evening, it hit me. While the baby seemed to never tire out but rather take all my energy (and patience), I left our rocking chair (the same one since my first baby.... what memories lie there!) and took him to bed. (You know that I've been co-sleeping since my first baby too, without getting tired. And I simply wrapped and curled up the baby without having prepared myself for it, without having thought about it.
I put on my nightgown, a symbol that it's over. And you know how? Happiness, I'm beaming with smiles thinking about it: the baby didn't cry. When he asked for it, I replaced it with hugs. Big hugs filled with loving words, like he can now repeat to me: "love you."
I know, having experienced it twice rather than three times, that you can wean without letting them cry. You just have to know it. AND share it.
I just have to figure out how I'm going to manage his daytime nap. I'm in no hurry, and we'll be fulfilled and liberated, but bound in the heart by an endless love.
I love you my dear.
Testimonies and thanks for a weaning wrapped in love
"Thank you for sharing, what a beautiful message of love and sweetness! A real mom, that's exactly what you are! Gentleness, tenderness and listening, meeting the needs of little ones is not an easy task but oh how rewarding it is and what a beautiful bond we develop with them. Have a good evening Cododo" - Christine
"Here, weaning was done at 2 and a half years old with a simple discussion, one of the most beautiful things I have experienced breastfeeding my little angel for 2 and a half years, no need to force it, to experience a crisis, I felt that he could understand it and I felt that I was ready" - Marie
“Thank you for sharing these beautiful moments!” - Katherine
"I stopped breastfeeding my daughter when she was around 2 years old... Gradually... When she started going to daycare, I breastfed morning and evening... Then I stopped in the evening, but I still rocked her for 15-20 minutes. I was afraid she would cry, but no, she was glued to mommy and that was enough for her. I breastfed in the morning for a long time, because it allowed me to stay in bed longer (!!) I was very happy to have continued to breastfeed her for so long, because when she had a stomach bug, I was able to start breastfeeding her 2-3 times a day again. Then I risked cutting off the morning feed, but I continued the ritual of our mornings in bed - and it worked, without any crisis! She understood that it was over and I was able to continue getting up around 7 a.m.! Now she is 5 and a half years old and she still comes to join me in the morning in my bed - to my great pleasure!" - Jocelyne
“How beautiful it is! xx” - Nathalie
"You are such a loving mother, feeling that made it easier for them to know they wouldn't lack love" - Brigitte
"I also breastfed my second son until about a year and a half and I have such beautiful moments engraved in my heart, he didn't ask for more, because I gradually reduced the drinks with vegetable milk if I remember correctly! It's been 36 years now. Thank you life!" - Clodet
"Thank you, I'm in the middle of it and your words comfort me...yes it is possible to transform breastfeeding while keeping the true love!" - Pauline
"It's beautiful..." - Karine
"Thank you because I'm pretty much the only one who can't let my little heart cry...and sometimes I feel like I'm the opposite of everyone else...we want the best for our children but we each have our own way of doing this best, full of love, and everything ends up happening naturally" - Noémie
“You are so kind and loving, even my 20-year-old son loves you” - Sylvie
“It’s good to read, thank you” - Mélanie
"Me too, it was around two years old. I finished with the evening feed that was so precious to him and me. What a beautiful way to relax at the end of the day, feeling this little ball of energy and love melt in my arms, satisfied. I must say that for me it was the hardest part. I knew he was my last child, the last time I would have this special bond, to be able to give him this milk so perfect for him. There would be no going back... not easy. I must admit that very slowly, tears were running down my cheeks while making the most of these last moments so as to never forget them. The next morning, a new chapter began." - Dominike
"In a time of exhaustion like the one we are currently experiencing, it does me a great deal of good to read you, and it gives me all the energy I need to get through the coming night. One at a time..." - Magalie
"It's sooo beautiful. ... I weaned my son after 32 months of breastfeeding. Without tears, with respect, explaining things to him. Our children understand better than we think. It's beautiful to trust them." – Marie-Ève
"I wish I had read this when my daughter was a baby... I would have felt less alone! THANK YOU" - Dominik
" How well you write" - Danielle
"I also weaned naturally...3 times...without tears but with lots of presence and comfort." - Nadia
"Ah! That's so much what I think and what I'm experiencing right now, you couldn't have said it better! I too have always explained the changes to my daughter, even when she was a few months old." - Claudine
"Wow, how I wish it could be so gentle with my 3-year-old. I sometimes feel like I've reached the end of what I had to give him, but it seems to be different for him...I also hope for the most natural weaning possible, without tears, without shocks... It's good to read something so beautiful" - Fauve
“Thank you for this beautiful text that does good” - Élise
"Our little ones understand things much more than we think... Here, I explained, quite simply, to my 16-month-old son that Mommy no longer had milk in her breasts, that now, he could drink his milk in a glass... To my pleasant surprise, he didn't cry, he asked for more a few times... I gave him his glass and no tears followed!" - Roxane
“Thank you Jacinthe for your openness and authenticity... I think it will reassure many mothers...” – Marie-Lissa
"Any change with your baby should be done calmly and naturally. It's easier for both the mother and the baby. Above all, let things happen when they need to happen and don't change anything." - Mélanie
"Wow!!! My daughter finally weaned herself slowly 2 months ago. She was 2 years and 4 months old! I had tried before but I think deep down I wasn't ready. We were both ready. But I still had to explain to her that she was a big girl! We don't drink mom's milk anymore, there's no more. I already didn't have much left because I was breastfeeding a lot less. I loved breastfeeding and co-sleeping and I still do co-sleeping!! " - Vickie
"It's good to read you, I'm in the same situation... my body is telling me to stop but my heart doesn't want to at all. She's 18 months old and I hope every morning that she decides on her own that she doesn't need it anymore... I wish it came from her! Thank you!" - Audrey
"My daughter weaned herself at 20 months. I cried when she didn't breastfeed the next day... I said to my partner, 'Oh, I'm afraid I'll forget the last time she drank.'
The next day I talked with my daughter about my emotions and the beautiful moments of breastfeeding spent with her. I told her that she could decide to continue or to stop. Finally, we experienced one last breastfeeding session. What a powerful moment we experienced! - Julie
"Thank you for this beautiful sharing which totally resonates with me, and which is timely in my life as a mother who is wondering when and how I will succeed in weaning MYSELF from breastfeeding my 15-month-old baby and no longer co-sleeping with her. Sometimes I wonder if it is really only for her that I continue because it brings me so much to share these magical moments with her. I do not want to experience her tears because I do not believe either that we should let them cry but your text comforts me and touches me a lot at the same time. Thank you!!!" - Marie-Josée
"My God, we're so in the same boat. I'm breastfeeding my 16-month-old daughter, and when I go a day without breastfeeding because I tell myself that today is the day we stop, my mood drops to rock bottom. I don't think I'm "mentally" ready! "- Cathy
"My two sons were weaned just before their 3rd birthday. I had absolutely wanted to breastfeed at least until they were 1 year old, ideally 2 if I was lucky, and 3 if they decided to continue. I know that we don't make these decisions alone, our children have their own opinion on the matter and I was ready to work as a team. I was very lucky. A few days before their 3rd birthday, I felt the need to get my breast back and I had the feeling that we had benefited from this special contact for a long time, and that our sweet moments were now taking place in other ways, always with the same tenderness but differently. Since there was really only the bedtime feed, my partner took over and it was with pleasure that they fell asleep gently, rocked by dad, rather than with mom's breast in their mouth. And it also created an incredible bond between my men. It happened exactly the same way with my two boys (they are 2 years apart, I breastfed both at the same time for 1 year) and it was a wonderful experience. I am really happy that I did as I wanted despite the disapproving looks and the unsupportive comments. Follow your instinct, you are the mother" - Mélanie
"Phew! Your text touches me so much... I'm breastfeeding my 16-month-old daughter and I feel like I'm getting more and more exhausted and I'm having trouble weaning her gently... But you reassure me, without realizing it, you recommended a true friend to me. Today was a difficult day, but it ended with your kind and beautiful words. Thank you Maison Jacynthe" - Cathy
“How wonderful it is to be a mother!” - Étiennette
"This text is truly = Instinctive maternal from the bottom of the heart" - Chantal
"So many beautiful moments with baby breastfeeding I'm still breastfeeding my third 15 months. My first two were the ones who weaned me haha, they wanted to explore more time for mom's milk" - Julie
"Magnificent" - Isa
"Being fair (fair) for yourself and for him, being there, aligned and all that is fair appears, because the child knows our faults and must feel our strength, the right balance to be reassured." - Sophie
"There comes a point where it's hard to keep going (but easier than stopping!)." That's so true..." - Audrey
"I've reached this stage, my daughter is 22 months old, and I was looking for a gentle and loving transition! Thank you for sharing." - Vicky
"Beautiful message Jacynthe! I was judged so much by those around me when my children were babies. I would have loved to read it from you at that time. But it comforts me in the decisions I made at that time. Now I have two beautiful teenagers that I am proud of." - Christine
"Touching! Breastfeeding creates such a strong emotional bond. A smooth transition for mom and baby, oh yes, the big cuddles and reassuring him with a trusting look at any time of day." - Michèle
“Magnificent!” - Josée
“Such a beautiful sharing... so human. Thank you” – Marie-Pier
"I, who have not known this privilege (of being a mother) .... I have tears in my eyes ... I would probably have been a good mother like you" - Marie-France
“I haven’t had children, but reading your beautiful writing nourishes me, Jacynthe! You are a woman full of instinct.” – Marie-Claude
"This moment of continuing is difficult, but it's easier to continue... the transition was smoother than I thought, but there were a few tears. Thank you for sharing." - Marie-Michèle
"Sweet Jacynthe!" - Geneviève
"So beautiful, thank you for this text filled with love. I cry reading it. I would have loved to read this text when my babies were little." - Mell
“Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s good to know that others are like us.” - Julie
"I'm here. It's hard to continue, but easier than stopping. Baby's second birthday is approaching... The time will come soon, and I think it will have to come from me, like for baby number one." - Sandra
"It's so difficult to navigate with all the contradictory recommendations... I wanted to wean slowly and my body decided otherwise... too tired, no more milk. Phew, my daughter was very angry for 3 nights but I filled her with love and tenderness. Now she has replaced breastfeeding by turning a lock of my hair in her little fingers. These are memories that I will keep forever, that's for sure. It's true that naps are more complicated, but I rock her or use the baby carrier (even if at 21 months she is a little heavier)... and if my boyfriend is there, he is the best at putting her to sleep during naps" - Élisa
"I'm here...torn between the desire to continue and the exhaustion of breastfeeding day and night, this dependence on the breast for sleep...18 months...no desire to make it an arduous heartbreak. Thank you for this text, it gives me hope" - Shadia
"I've been there too! I, just like you, adapted my method to my son's personality and his needs. After spending three horrible nights (because he was crying because the milk store was closed...) cuddling him while co-sleeping too.... I had an idea. What if I went there with humor? Well... I admit it's a bit wacky but basically, every time my little one asked me for the breast (usually 1-2 times when I came back from work) I made a funny song out of it to tell him that the titis were over and that he was big and strong now! We laughed about it! After dinner when he asked me for some I said to him; Instead, would a piece of chocolate be okay for you? (He's greedy! so it worked well and he forgot about the titis!). Anyway, I always made it a "game" and I think he felt it like that (that mom was in peace with that) him too and that in the end the drama is "well less fun!" - Audrey
"Oh how timely this text is... I am in the middle of weaning my 7-month-old twins... my body can no longer cope with their demands! My heart and mind are not at all ready to stop! I had no choice but to wean my daughter, due to an operation... we had to calculate everything that went into her little body! I have kept breastfeeding my son twice. I want above all to continue my breastfeeding" - Ariane
"Thank you! I'm at this stage too... very soon... as soon as the little nose stops being congested because it helps him so much" - Josianne
"Wow. It seems to have gone so smoothly. With my 3-year-old, it's really difficult. I try to explain to him at night that I don't want to breastfeed anymore, but it's really not that simple. For us, it's easier to continue for now." - Tania
"Wow! It feels so good to read you today! Because some days are harder than others and the comments and judgments are frequent! Thank you for this testimony with these sweet and respectful words for a mother who only wants the best for her baby!" - Isabelle
"I understand here that we have to be at peace with our decision. My Loulou will be 2 years old in a few days and the desire to stop is starting to set in. I am still so torn with the idea that I fear this moment. I avoid it and continue to tell myself that it is good for him. That after all it is so simple. The hope that he will wean himself is no longer there. How am I going to do it!? Oulala" – Marie-Audrey
"I'm also thinking about weaning even though he's not yet 11 months old... I know I'll have to do it eventually, before going back to work. Even though I've been through it 3 times, my first one was also a charm how it went. The second one was more difficult, the 3rd one went well. But my little man, we are so in symbiosis, he's such a "mom" phew, I feel that it will be more difficult. You inspire me in any case, to go there with your heart and gentleness" - Catherine
"I read him bedtime stories and was able to stop breastfeeding. It's hard to do, but it's better to be in good shape rather than exhausted to continue. (He's 2 and a half years old). I only had one child. With three, you might have to think differently. I understand you, I've been there." - Chantal
“So beautiful. So sweet.” - Genevieve
“Wow! It’s beautiful! Thanks for the advice.” - Marie-Christine
"I ran out of milk for my first, so I was really torn around 9 months and had to stop. For my second, it happened on its own and I breastfed her until 18 months. And then finally for the youngest, I had to make her understand that my mother simply didn't have any more milk, but she was going to be 3, so I think I had given enough anyway! So many beautiful memories, so many special moments" - Anouk
"Once again, tears in my eyes reading you, I sometimes miss breastfeeding but when I helped my little Jonathan to wean, it would have done me so much good to read you... at 3 and a half years old I simply could not give anymore... but with a lot of love we got there" - Christine
"Wow, it brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for this beautiful text." - Jessie
"Or continuing is difficult, but easier than stopping'... that's so true! You put words to my feelings. Thank you for writing it. I will try when I am ready, to plan the replacement with my beautiful" - Cinthia
"Wow! Thank you for these words! Unfortunately for me, all the hugs and words of love did not replace the comfort of the mother's breast! There were a few tears... Thank you for your testimonies because in our society, breastfeeding but especially co-sleeping is judged so negatively that it weighs heavily on me..." - Arlette
"My heart is heavy reading this! My son is only 10 months old! Breastfeeding is going wonderfully, but work starts again in a few weeks! I will have to gradually wean him during the day, to keep only our morning and evening moments! Just thinking about it makes my heart heavy! My daughter weaned herself gradually at 14 months, I sincerely hope it happens the same way with my son!" - Catherine
“Thank you for these beautiful words” - Drazenka
"Beautiful story!! I didn't have to let my boy cry when I decided to wean him. I simply decreased the amount of time he nursed at each feeding. And we eliminated one feeding at a time like that. It took a month or two, but it was smooth for both him and me." - Michelle
"How beautiful it is, filled with sweetness and love. We love our children." - Louise
"This message is timely! Our babies are almost the same age (here 25 months) and I was going to type on Google "how to wean a toddler"!! I was afraid of what I would find! I weaned my eldest gently when she was 3 years old. But this time I have less energy to get to that point. I have also been co-sleeping since birth. I don't know how to wean a toddler, I only know how to breastfeed...and love' - Nathalie
"Thank you for sharing! This is my last baby here too and my breastfeeding has gone so well this time that I'm having trouble thinking about weaning. You've named the moment when it becomes more difficult to continue. Thank you for putting it into words." - Vicky
Leave a comment