The vagaries of life
It is sadness when everyone is happy;
It is the butterfly that dies after its first flight;
This is the baby who will never take his first breath;
It is the young father who collapses a few meters from the finish line of his race and disappears forever;
It is the elderly person who sees his home destroyed by flames and the memories of an entire life go up in smoke;
This is the person for whom life changes overnight with a single word: cancer;
These are the parents who went for a motorcycle ride on a beautiful spring day and who will never return, leaving their children orphaned;
It is the young teenager who erases her existence with a regrettable gesture and in return leaves this perpetual question to those close to her: why?
It is the suffering of men and animals;
It's the little demon inside you that sabotages you, makes you doubt yourself, gives you the contemptuous look and makes you feel unloved;
Because life is a perpetual cycle of birth, flourishing life, suffering, death, and transformation. For there to be life, there must be death. One does not come without the other. Deliberately choosing to transform your life involves a small death and sometimes a bigger, symbolic death of yourself. This is frightening because the ego wants to anchor us and freeze us in time, while life is impermanent. For most of us, it is that little hamster in our head that has guided us until it has made us suffer enough. Everything has a beginning and an end. Whether we like it or not. Change is difficult because our ego wants us to resist. It tries to survive and legitimize its place. Our mind screams loudly to stifle the voice of our heart. Until the day you decide to no longer be enslaved to it. That day you give yourself the right to be free and to be Love. Because you have the right to it. You deserve it.
To fully savor love, you must know what it's like to not have been loved. To enjoy happiness, you must have known suffering. Every positive emotion and experience in our lives also has its setbacks that seemed so insurmountable. But that's how it is. We can't permanently banish trials, sorrow, and negative thoughts from our lives. No matter how hard you try. So what's the point of persisting, persevering, and changing? Because in this life full of paradoxes and twists and turns, you have the power to turn dust into diamonds . You have the power to learn to ride life's ups and downs without getting lost in them. Wisdom is the right balance between letting go and making the effort to achieve happiness. And happiness is here and now. In your hands. In your heart. Whether you are healthy or not, happy or not, accompanied or alone, rich or poor, obese or thin. Despite all the wounds, challenges, and fragilities you experience, healing, no matter what form it takes, is always possible. It's about accepting what is, without judgment ("that's how it is now"). The road to change may seem long and fraught with pitfalls, but it can be worth all the gold in the world. All it takes is that little spark that ignites and gradually mobilizes you on the path of growth. This road that wants to reconcile you with yourselves and relearn how to love yourself unconditionally as you are, here and now.
More and more, psychology studies tend to demonstrate the transformative power of self-compassion. This new concept aims to increase your potential by deploying the forces of self-love. It's about taking care of yourself as you would a loved one. Speaking to yourself with kindness and gentleness, among other things. A simple exercise is to choose a photo of yourself as a child. Display it in a place conducive to a moment of silence, like a mirror. Look at this child, talk to them, give them what they need. Love starts from within. Then extend this love to those around you and your living environment. Try it for just a few days and observe.
Love always wins!
In my next article, I will tell you about the stages of change.
Dr. Andréanne Dussault
Photo credit: Marï photography
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